— This is a longer post than usual, so if you’re reading this via email, you might want to hop on over the the web version here to read the full thing! —
In This Newsletter:
Welcome to Sci-Fi Fuel #14
Weird science/tech news + jokes!
Weird science/tech news (minus jokes!)
Welcome to Sci-Fi Fuel #14! —
— an Alternate Timeline series highlighting news from the realms of science, tech, history, and pop culture to help fuel your imagination.
As the last Sci-Fi Fuel installment of the month, this issue is less focused on quantum quotes and analysis and MORE focused on showcasing wild and crazy science/tech headlines to launch your brain into hyperspace.
But if you’re hoping to dig into a bit more, there’s a new episode of Yub Nub — the Star Wars podcast that I co-host:
And I’ll likely be writing something soon about this encryption focused episode Unexplainable once I fully wrap my brain around it:
Also, I have a lot of work to do finishing the next Alternate Timeline story by the end of the month. Wish me luck!
- Tim
Okay, NOW… let’s dive in!
UFind past Alternate Timeline stories here.
— This is a large post, so if you’re reading this via email, you might want to hop on over the the web version here to read the full thing! —
ATTACK OF THE JOKES:
A few weird science/tech news items made it into my daily joke series over at Letters from African America last week:
The IRS is struggling to sort legitimate from bogus tax-credit claims. “Dang it, I knew I should’ve taken than red pill,” said IRS Agent Thomas Anderson:
NASA finally figured out how to open a $1-billion canister containing samples of a 4.6-billion-year-old asteroid. And just like that… the phrase “it ain’t rocket science” has been replaced with “it ain’t a billion dollar space jar.”
TikTok is cutting jobs as tech layoffs continue to mount. Luckily, the cuts were all for the team tasked with making the weirdest possible video appear next whenever you scroll. Now you can stop asking things to yourself like “Why is this woman preparing nachos in a dirty bathtub?” and “Why can’t I stop watching?” and “Should I try preparing nachos in a dirty bathtub?”
Several New Hampshire voters received calls containing an imitation or manipulation of President Joe Biden’s voice warning them against casting their ballots at the primary. To fight future confusion, the Biden administration will only release messages via Harry Potter owl.
Google is rolling out an AI feature that can organize tabs on your browser. There are three settings:
Intellectual: Which places Wikipedia entries and news websites at the forefront.
Edgy: Which highlights Joe Rogan YouTube links and reeddit entries.
and I Definitely Cooked That: Which highlights random recipe tabs so that your family thinks you really did make those Hot Pockets from scratch.
The extreme sport of ice climbing is at risk of extinction. But there’s light at the end of the tunnel, as climbers have discovered there are rocks behind the ice! “May be a crazy idea, but, I dunno… maybe we can climb those?!”
Lawyers are creating legal entities so that frozen, deceased rich people can leave their fortunes to their future revived selves. As a safeguard from any changes in value during their slumber, they’re stockpiling all of the “likes,” “hearts,” and “pokes,” they’ve acquired on social media. “How many hearts for a cheeseburger? Oh, we don’t have cheese or cows anymore? How much for this slime sandwich then?”
New data shows that fully remote workers are hit hardest by layoffs. Of course they are! Imagine being fired on the computer by someone who lives in the same part of your brain as all of your childhood imaginary friends.
Apple is overhauling its App Store to appease the European Union. So, if apps are taking a while to download, it’s just because your phone is on siesta and no longer relies on tips to survive.
So called “obituary pirates” are publishing articles with false information about everyday people’s deaths to capture Google traffic. Worse, they’re considering entering the turf of rivals, Story Pirates, by forging an improv group that performs at elementary schools. “Can I get a suggestion of a death?!.. Looks like none of you know what that is… Gather ‘round.”
NASA’s little helicopter on Mars has logged its last flight. Having been sent to find signs of life, its final transmission stated “Still no traffic to report, but if there were, these giant rocks would cause quite the jam. Back to you for the weather.”
So… did ya laugh? Mash that comment button if you’d like to tell me which was your favorite.
NEWSTOPIA:
Headlines from JANUARY 2024 that’ll make your brain tingle. ← Some are from the end of December, 2023 since SFF was on a brief hiatus.
December 14, 2023 — via 404 Media
Marketing Company Claims That It Actually Is Listening to Your Phone and Smart Speakers to Target Ads (LINK)
December 19, 2023 — via AP
Orange tabby cat named Taters steals the show in first video sent by laser from deep space (LINK)
December 28, 2023 — via Wired
Spying on Beavers From Space Could Help Save California (LINK)
December 28, 2023 — via Bloomberg
China Imposes First Rules Forcing Ethnic Mingling in Xinjiang (LINK)
December 28, 2023 — via The Wall Street Journal
The Secret Foreign Roots of Tech Titans’ New California City (LINK)
Speaking of tech towns, one of Alternate Timeline’s very own original heroes had quite the adventure inside of one.
December 28, 2023 — via AP
As tree species face decline, ‘assisted migration’ gains popularity in Pacific Northwest (LINK)
December 29, 2023 — via The Wall Street Journal
How Did Companies Use Generative AI in 2023? Here’s a Look at Five Early Adopters (LINK)
December 31, 2023 — via NPR
Checking your 2024 horoscope? Astronomy explains why your sign might have changed (LINK)
Wonder what this means for the horoscope obsessed Victor Rose III in the Alternate Timeline story, Foreign Document.
December 31, 2023 — via NPR
Take a look at these astonishing new images of Jupiter's volcanic moon Io (LINK)
January 1, 2024 — via NPR
Chief Justice Roberts casts a wary eye on artificial intelligence in the courts (LINK)
This is inspiration for an upcoming Alternate Timeline story!
January 2, 2024 — via Newsweek
Sustained 'Artificial Sun' Promised by 2026 in Fusion Energy Upgrade (LINK)
January 2, 2024 — via Wired
AI May Not Steal Your Job, but It Could Stop You Getting Hired (LINK)
January 3, 2024 — via Popular Mechanics
Every 8.5 Years, Earth's Core Mysteriously Wobbles. Scientists May Finally Know Why (LINK)
January 4, 2024 — via The Verge
Google wrote a ‘Robot Constitution’ to make sure its new AI droids won’t kill us (LINK)
January 4, 2024 — via Newsweek
Extremely Powerful New Year's Eve Solar Flare Still Causing Radio Blackouts (LINK)
January 4, 2024 — via Wired
My Parents’ Dementia Felt Like the End of Joy. Then Came the Robots (LINK)
January 4, 2024 — via Newsweek
Neuroscientists Find Way to Make People More Hypnotizable (LINK)
January 5, 2024 — via USA Today
UFOs, commercial spaceflight and rogue tomatoes: Recapping 2023's wild year in space (LINK)
January 9, 2024 — via Popular Mechanics
A Wild Experiment With Magnets Actually Suspended Gravity (LINK)
January 9, 2024 — via Newsweek
Scientists Predict 'Seismic Shifts' in Families by 2095 (LINK)
While the average 65-year-old woman in 1950 had an average of 41 relatives still alive, a woman of the same age will only have 25 by 2095, most of whom will be older relatives like great-grandparents and grandparents.
January 10, 2024 — via Newsweek
People Encouraged to Freeze Toads to Death in National Cull (LINK)
January 10, 2024 — via Popular Mechanics
Scientists Solved a 1.75-Billion-Year Mystery About How Life Materialized on Earth (LINK)
January 10, 2024 — via Newsweek
Astronomers Discover Planet Has Been Hiding 350,000-Mile-Long Tail (LINK)
January 11, 2024 — via Newsweek
Sticky Foam Excreted From Bug's Anus May Inspire New Skin Care Products (LINK)
January 12, 2024 — via Newsweek
Hellish World With 2,294 F 'Lava Hemisphere' Discovered by NASA (LINK)
January 15, 2024 — via Popular Mechanics
Archaeologists Just Found An Ancient Roman Bullet With Julius Caesar's Name On It (LINK)
January 15, 2024 — via Newsweek
Alzheimer's Breakthrough as Five New Subgroups Identified (LINK)
January 16, 2024 — via Newsweek
Mysterious Giant Structure Challenges Our Understanding of the Universe (LINK)
The structure dubbed the "Big Ring on the Sky" lies around 9.2 billion light-years away from Earth and presents a mystery to astronomers, as such large structures are supposed to be too big for the "average region" of space.
January 16, 2024 — via Newsweek
Mystery Snakeworm New to Science Discovered in Alaska in 'X-Files Case' (LINK)
January 17, 2024 — via NPR
James Webb Telescope detects earliest known black hole — it's really big for its age (LINK)
January 18, 2024 — via Newsweek
California's Rivers Yield New Species of Eel-Like Fish (LINK)
January 17, 2024 — via Newsweek
How a 27-Year-Old Codebreaker Busted the Myth of Bitcoin’s Anonymity (LINK)
January 17, 2024 — via Newsweek
Exclusive: Pentagon Faces Questions for Funding Top Chinese AI Scientist (LINK)
January 18, 2024 — via Axios
"AI made us do it" is Big Tech's new layoff rationale (LINK)
January 18, 2024 — via AP
January 18, 2024 — via TechCrunch
BMW will deploy Figure’s humanoid robot at South Carolina plant (LINK)
January 19, 2024 — via Newsweek
Dog Owners Who Abandon Poops To Be Found Using DNA Tests in Italy (LINK)
January 22, 2024 — via TechCrunch
Voice cloning startup ElevenLabs lands $80M, achieves unicorn status (LINK)
January 22, 2024 — via Popular Mechanics
Scientists Are Hunting for Ancient Black Holes Made of Dark Matter (LINK)
January 22, 2024 — via Newsweek
Russia–Ukraine War Leaves Scientists Struggling To Investigate Arctic Changes (LINK)
These countries comprise the Arctic Council, an intergovernmental forum designed to coordinate activities and research across the Arctic. The Arctic Council was paused after the invasion of Ukraine and has only recently resumed without the input of Russia.
January 22, 2024 — via Wired
Cops Used DNA to Predict a Suspect’s Face—and Tried to Run Facial Recognition on It (LINK)
January 23, 2024 — via Axios
Doomsday Clock will stay at 90 seconds to midnight for second year (LINK)
January 24, 2024 — via Popular Mechanics
A Pig's Brain Transcended Its Body, Surging to Life on Its Own. Humans May Be Next. (LINK)
January 24, 2024 — via Wired
Social Media Is Getting Smaller—and More Treacherous (LINK)
January 24, 2024 — via Newsweek
Fusion Boost From Liquid Shield Brings Near-Unlimited Clean Energy Closer (LINK)
January 24, 2024 — via Popular Mechanics
The 'Dolomite Problem' Has Baffled Scientists for 2 Centuries—and Now They've Solved It (LINK)
January 24, 2024 — via Wired
Two Nations, a Horrible Accident, and the Urgent Need to Understand the Laws of Space (LINK)
January 24, 2024 — via NPR
Experiencing racism may physically change your brain (LINK)
January 24, 2024 — via Popular Mechanics
The Truth About the ‘Betz Mystery Sphere’ Conspiracy Theory (LINK)
January 24, 2024 — via Newsweek
Medical Milestone' as Woman Gives Birth Using Her Mother's Womb (LINK)
January 24, 2024 - via Newsweek
Student Discovers Ancient Flying Reptile That Lived 200 Million Years Ago (LINK)
January 25, 2024 — via TechCrunch
General purpose humanoid robots? Bill Gates is a believer (LINK)
January 25, 2024 — via AP
Japan’s precision moon lander has hit its target, but it appears to be upside-down (LINK)
January 25, 2024 — via Newsweek
Mystery of Mars' 'Burps' Could Aid Search for Life (LINK)
January 26, 2024 — via Wired
Researchers Say the Deepfake Biden Robocall Was Likely Made With Tools From AI Startup ElevenLabs (LINK)
January 26, 2024 — via Newsweek
Archaeologists Baffled by 1,900-Year-Old Weapons in Remote Cave (LINK)
January 26, 2024 — via TechCrunch
Nightshade, the tool that ‘poisons’ data, gives artists a fighting chance against AI (LINK)
January 26, 2024 — via Newsweek
The Moon Is Shrinking—and It Could Affect Future NASA Missions (LINK)
January 26, 2024 — via TechCrunch
Tesla to spend $500M to bring its Dojo supercomputer project to Buffalo factory (LINK)
January 26, 2024 — via Newsweek
Students Who Still Take Notes by Hand Better Off, Say Neuroscientists (LINK)
Good news for tech-journalist Morgan stern from Alternate Timeline stories Watching Ghosts and Method.
January 26, 2024 — via techCrunch
Chef Robotics eyes commercial kitchens with $14.75M raise (LINK)
In the past several years, the kitchen has increasingly become a focal point for the world of automation. Miso, for instance, has made a name for itself with Flippy, a hamburger cooking arm that has found its way into chain restaurants like White Castle. Others, including Zume Robotics, have been less successful — the pizza robot firm shut its doors last year after attempting a major pivot into Earth-conscious food packaging.
January 27, 2024 — via Popular Mechanics
Earth’s Forces Are Causing This Massive Plate to Split in Two (LINK)
January 27, 2024 — via Axios
The search for quantum algorithms (LINK)
New quantum algorithms and AI approaches are testing the possibilities for quantum computing.
January 28, 2024 — via Newsweek
Scientists Just Discovered a New Type of Magnetism (LINK)
I’ll see you the week after that with more…